『Holy hell』

This is a “holy hell”,  if I am to bestow its name.

Ignoring my feelings, a spring breeze caresses my cheek.

A banal love song pierces my ears.

The persona of a literary legend takes control over my entire brain.

I become the viewer of a surrealistic movie happening before my eyes.

Where I should have been the recipient of the best actress award.

Were they the tears that streamed? Or the sweat that dripped?

Too fatigued to attribute rationale, I shall leave it be in its current state.

Once I had yearned so much for time to halt in its tracks.

Now I merely wish for its relentless march.

I knew better than anyone how to end myself.

I don't even know what I fear anymore.

Despite knowing the place where I will find myself completed,

I have misplaced my sense of direction.

Frantically seeking the right answer that is never to be found,

: In front of a problem that didn't exist from the beginning.

I yearn to cloak myself in the mantle of a fallen angel.

I aspire to grant the wishes of that little maiden quivering before the looking glass.

I cannot rescue the world,

Yet I beseech, I wish to salvage myself and my love.

I aim to proclaim that the choice of "me" is the rightful one.

: In front of a problem that has to be there.

O please don't shed tears, don't feign a smile at the unseen moon and say it's lovely.

O please don't apologize for envisioning a self-centered reverie last night.

O please don't allow another's view of life and death to ensnare you.

For the summer remains eternally unlost. (maiden of summer.)

original 1907** by @pleiase5 second draft 2403**  t.o. writer with @love of wisdom